When oh when will I learn to say no?
Last night after work I had dinner with Amber and went to her house to watch a few episodes of Madmen. We were just chit chatting like we do, and I was complaining like I do, and I said that God and I were having a rough patch. I am trying to trust in his perfect plan, but it just doesn't make any dang sense to me yet. I was complaining that I'm a little dense and I need turn by turn directions and when was my google map going to show up tied with a beautiful bow?! So about two hours later we're in the middle of watching TV and I get a phone call from "church". Both of my parents are super involved in our church, my dad is an elder, they are both on the governance authority (whatever that is), my mom helps with 9/10 events and coordinates the nursery, my dad prays for kids church, serves communion, etc., so I figured it was just one of them and maybe they forgot their cell phone and had something important to tell me. NOPE!
It was the new pastor, calling to ask how our home buying was coming along. Now, that is very very sweet, but I barely know the guy, so it's a little much for me. He offered his and the entire congregations services to help us move and wants to put our moving date in the bulletin so people know when to show up. Again, very sweet but now I have to buy enough donuts for who knows how many people that I barely know! Not to mention we live in a 700 sqft apartment and I will have to pack the day we move as boxes get loaded onto the truck because we don't have any more space for boxes in here, where will all the people go? Just our immediate families coming to help us was already 10 people, and I was concerned with them fitting!
So I told him I thought we had it under control, but he's a pastor, a man that needs to help people, so of course now our moving date it going to be printed in the bulletin this week with our new and old address so people can come help us. So while this is a lovely offering of people's time and service and I appreciate the thought and gesture immensely, moving just got ten times more stressful. Not to mention we are moving the day before Mother's day and now if people really do come and help I am going to feel like I'm ruining their Mother's day weekend and that they only showed up because they like my parents and feel obligated to help because it's the right thing to do. Because honestly I don't really participate, I sit in the nursery once a month and chat with Miranda while we play scrabble on our phones, and occasionally play with a kid (we don't always have kids in the nursery, we don't ignore children when they are there, I promise!), other than that people kind of only know me because of my parents and because I worked at the preschool for 5 years... 4 years ago.
I am probably just making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be but, I am not good at letting people I don't know help me. Plus this is our first house and now moving is going to involve a bunch of people I've met in passing and Chris has never met.
So back to my original point, I was complaining about God's plan and two hours later he said "guess what, you don't like my plan, how about a little help from some strangers... " to which I reply, "Good game God, good game".
11
For I know the plans
I have for you,” declares the
Lord
, “plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
Yeah, I'm working on it.