Quarantine Apathy

It’s week NINE of quarantine/social distancing.

I have been having a hard time finding motivation to do things, even things I know I enjoy. I don’t love big changes, but I love a change of scenery. And the monotony of only seeing my house and occasionally Publix is wearing me down.

Saying I’m bored is not quite how I feel, but I don’t really know how to put this new feeling into words yet. Apathetic maybe? I am just craving something different or new. Something that isn’t wake up, drink the same coffee again, work until lunch, make lunch, work until dinner, make another Home Chef meal, watch TV, repeat until the weekend, which… what is a weekend anymore?

I miss my friends, eating at a restaurant, going to see plays, musicals, concerts, and movies. I miss all the same things I’m sure you miss. But, just in case you felt alone in missing things, I wanted to let you know you definitely are not alone.

I have been trying to continue my daily journaling and reminding myself to shower at least once a week. On days when all I can manage is to wake up and work from bed in my pajamas, I give myself grace, and on days when I wake up, eat breakfast, and get dressed, work from my office, and smile, I celebrate. Usually with ice cream or pie.

It’s a crazy world we’re living in right now, and I am grateful to be healthy, home, working, and cooped up with a husband I love and a dog I love even more. There is a lot to be thankful for, but that doesn’t mean I can’t also be sad.

As much as I want to avoid feelings at all costs, I am facing them, trying to process them, and still having weekly therapy sessions. Your feelings are valid, feel them. Apparently, it’s the only way to move forward.

Be safe pals. Stay sane.